Bacon & Man Stuff.

mets, jets, and processed pork. served with a side of sarcasm, cynicism, and laughter.

  1. visenyatargaryyen:

    laughtercues:

    kingjohnkat:

    redphonebox:

    just so we’re clear, i use

    dude

    bro

    man

    gurl

    babe

    bby

    loser

    as gender-neutral and affectionate names

    don’t forget son

    What am I forgetting dad

    image

    You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.

    (Source: smallplantfriend, via woe-and-grow)

  2. Anonymous said: What is your ultimate fantasy?

    becomingathena:

    Financial stability.

  3. jelloegg:

    supernyatural:

    girlwholovesdragons:

    temperamentalheavingheart:

    thinkthatthetimehascome:

    ianoshea:

    jocundasykes:

    welcome-foolishmortals:

    I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

    ICH WEINE

    The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

    THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

    this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.

    homohotlips69

    Holy shit I am dying from laughter


    HUNGRY for DONG

    Ah, shit. My stomach aches. *phew*

    (Source: padfootvioletstilinski, via candidbandit)

  4. rosiebeck:

    nxv:

    primisthebomb:

    I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

    i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

    I threw a grape in the air
    I went to catch it I swear
    It hit a spider that fell
    and now they’re on my face

    (via woe-and-grow)

  5. dizzysdomain:

    shoona:

    If you are having a bad night here is a drawing if a snake wearing a boot

    image

    image

    (via volcanicdynamo)

  6. dangering:

    My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart

    (via thehillshavesableyes-deactivate)

  7. kenby:

why u lick me
  8. sweeneyway:

to join the black parade

    sweeneyway:

    to join the black parade

    (Source: ogallure, via thehillshavesableyes-deactivate)

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